Back to school

So … while most people head home from work as the sun sets in the sky, I was heading off to class. The kinda class you go to when you did not get enough of the icky bucket at the haunted house last halloween. Now this is not any class … this is thee ULTIMATE birds and bees class. But non-the-less … we rush excitedly around the house making sure we have pillows and pads for our “relaxation techniques”.
We arrived in time to grab the comfy couch at the back of the class … come on … there are 23 people there talking about bodily functions and their feelings. Well … there were 11 + the instructor … the guys were all trying to sneak out the door. Jenny, our instructor, is fun and knowledgeable and explains things well. The class is pretty standard … some couples are quiet, some are knowledgeable, and some of very inquisitive (some more so). Overall, we got a pretty good feeling about the group so it looks like it will be a lot of fun. Melissa, little miss goodie-goodie, has already volunteered to bring the snacks for next week (or maybe it is just to get it out of the way … I am not too sure). Heck, we even got homework … but since we go on weekly date’s, this assignment is a piece of cake … maybe we are going to share one 🙂
Now … for your enjoyment:
When the water breaks you need to remember… TACO
T – Taste (ick!) … no … the TIME
A – Amount; trickle or gush determines if the water broke high or low
C – Colour; flags possible “contamination” of the amniotic fluid
O – Smell; Ick … flags possible infection or maybe a little “accident”
The other thing to note… “hee hee hee hoo!” is OLD SCHOOL. It had a ‘negative’ effect of causing a push on each “hoo” – and that is not the idea. So now I have to break all that training I have been doing by watching all those movies … geez … skipping the Coles notes and watching the movie did it too me again. We are apparently going to be learning a ‘new and improved’ way for relaxation … doing yoga while pushing a 10 pound watermelon out your ___? (I will leave the blank for all you keeners out there).
The only other thing was that bottom feeder fish are apparently bad in the diet due to higher levels of mercury … who knew? (Well … apparently everyone in class but us!)
Next week … floor exercises! (Now, once they are down – how do they get back up?)

2 thoughts on “Back to school

  1. Funny stuff. Enjoy, and keep us posted (I now know I’ll be eagerly awaiting the results of your class each week).

  2. Wow, sounds like a very educational class. Thanks for the detailed (and humorous) update — looking forward to reading about it next week.